Category Archives: satire

Edmund Pevensie Got Ripped Off

Posted on May 2, 2013 by jmoellerwriter

I tried Turkish Delight for the first time this weekend. Turkish Delight, of course, is most famous as the candy the White Witch uses to tempt Edmund Pevensie in CS Lewis’s classic THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE. I … Continue reading →

Posted in administrata, high fantasy, satire | 2 Comments

James Bond is actually a Time Lord of Gallifrey

Posted on November 16, 2012 by jmoellerwriter

I saw SKYFALL recently, and it was excellent. However, it occurred to me that James Bond has been on the air for fifty years (much like DOCTOR WHO) and he has taken an incredible amount of physical abuse in that … Continue reading →

Posted in satire, science fiction | 2 Comments

The Five Stages Of New Gadget Lust

Posted on September 7, 2012 by jmoellerwriter

Now that Amazon has announced new Kindle HD tablets and the Kindle Paperwhite ereader, I think it’s safe to say that many, many people are experiencing a sudden uncontrollable case of gadget lust. And, in fact, gadget lust corresponds quite … Continue reading →

Posted in satire | 2 Comments

the five stages of traditionally-published author grief over ebooks

Posted on July 19, 2012 by jmoellerwriter

I was, once upon a time, a traditionally published author with a traditionally published book. I was not, however, a terribly successful traditionally published author, so I had no reservations about embracing self-epublishing. But in the last two years, I … Continue reading →

Posted in eBooks, satire | 1 Comment

Computer Repair, Epic Fantasy Style

Posted on December 21, 2011 by jmoellerwriter

What do I do all day? Pretty much this: ### Heed my words, and hearken well to them, for I am the technomancer. The daemons of Linux are mine to command, and I have the words of Command Line power … Continue reading →

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For I am ever obedient to my King

Posted on December 12, 2011 by jmoellerwriter

I haven’t had a fix in six weeks. Been trying to take better care of myself. It shows, I guess. People say I look better, and even those who didn’t know about my little…habits. I even feel better. Head’s clearer, … Continue reading →

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4 Reasons Going To The Gym Really Sucks

Posted on November 30, 2011 by jmoellerwriter

From July of 2009 to July of 2010, I lost 135 pounds through diet and regular exercise. Since then, I’ve kept the weight off, but I’ve discovered a dismaying fact – the only way to keep the weight off is … Continue reading →

Posted in satire | 2 Comments

Star Trek vs. the iPad

Posted on March 13, 2011 by jmoellerwriter

I read an article arguing that the Apple iPad was in fact inspired by the PADD handheld computers that everyone used on “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. There’s one flaw in this argument, though – the iPad has wireless, both … Continue reading →

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judging people

Posted on December 2, 2010 by jmoellerwriter

I frightened an immigrant Somali* teenager this morning. But I had good reason. She was in my parking space. She was in. My. Parking. Space! We judge people all the time, in our day to day lives. Usually our judgments … Continue reading →

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and speaking of evil necromancers…

Posted on October 13, 2010 by jmoellerwriter

A British woman bought a McDonald’s Happy Meal, left it on her shelf for six months, and it showed not a single trace of mold. Not one. Clearly, McDonald’s food is immortal. Which means that the secret to physical immortality … Continue reading →

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